I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just puked most of my soul out..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
