Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize