Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
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It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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