butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
