my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
And the cops told us we were all naked.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol