I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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