So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize