K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
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