quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
