oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
