i wish there were pregnant emoticons
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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