she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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