I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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