i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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