Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
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If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO