Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
