I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
