There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
