U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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