Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Your penis caused this!
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