Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
