Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
