Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
