you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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