Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.