she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger