I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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