her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
