never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Shame - the story of my life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
