At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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