So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
