That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize