oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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