don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize