She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
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You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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