if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
