JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
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He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
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he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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