fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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