she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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