Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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