I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
