quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
