You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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