Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
