Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize