Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
