Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
