Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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