I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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