Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
