I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
