this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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