Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
