It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
