Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
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you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
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It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Let's get the cat blown out
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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