just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
